this is my latest quilty endeavor – made of sheets, three of which are also dresses.
staying present in the moment
and noticing the loveliness of each day
and struggling with me and life
and knitting and surfing
and connecting with this family
is what this girl has been mostly doing.
my boy will always be able to say
he went surfing with his mom when she turned fifty.
i even caught my first two for-reals waves.
he saw it
and was as excited as i.
my dad told me today
that his fifties were his best
and i have a lovely friend who can’t wait to be the age of fifty.
so i am determined to grow and change and blossom
with this new season.
it is unknown ground,
for i no longer have little ones that fill my every moment,
giving each day purpose.
i will not be given to fear of doing things
or being alone
or things not turning out OK.
i will not be afraid of playing.
i will continue to be real and have faith and love.
i can always love.
and i will do it all one minute at a time.
one choice at a time.
one picture at a time.
like today when i made the choice
against all inner churnings
to hit the waves with my boy then take one simple whimsy picture.
i loved sitting back and watching them be brother and sister. she squirt him in the face once.
while waiting her friend, jordan, did this.
brother’s are the same height. when did that happen?
it was cold and windy and she is lovely.
sister sun, mother and daughter.
a little photo shoot for a now you workshop reflection assignment.
jumping on logs for a photo workshop assignment quite made me laugh out loud today
a lady in a dress made of pillowcases
with oxfords and socks.
jumping up and down on a ginormous fallen log.
amidst young children being let out from their redwood nestled school.
i heard a mother call to her child to come away.
and as this lady is getting to where her glasses are a must,
yet still an annoyance to always have on hand,
the camera’s screen did not fill her in as to whether the jumping one was in focus,
and a naughty knot was obstructing the view of the air one really did get.
my children wondered where i had been.
they didn’t know their mamma was jumping up an down on a log in the forest.
i told them i was being artsy-fartsy and left it at that.
my pictures lack perfection.
which fits this imperfectionist of a girl.
i’m pretty sure others laughed.
but hurray for taking a few minutes for my creative self.
there it is.
once upon a time,
a young version of this girl and married man
lived in this humble little house.
married man was a student and twenty simple dollars would feed us for a week.
we often didn’t even have the luxury of twenty dollars, but somehow it appeared at our front door many times.
so much water under the bridge since these days,
since our lives were gathered together within these walls.
many dreams we dreamed came true.
many dreams we never could have even thought to dream,
we have funny and awesome and weird and sad stories
that for better or worse,
belong to only us.
we had four wonderful children.
we poured our lives into them.
from their beginning,
they poured theirs into ours
and we will never be the same.
disappointments there were.
disappointments there will be.
but we will love one another through them.
We will lay disappointments and sadness and griefs behind
for that is where they belong.
and we will move on from here,
from where we are now.
for there is so much goodness and love and relationship and story ahead.
after all these years,
a completely different person this girl is.
for the story has shaped me into something more complete
and will continue to change me
till the last page is turned.
this girl is thankful for these boys and their dad,
sunshine and a new shed,
dirt and the new hope it brings.